<\/p>\n Proof that demon spawn is growing in your womb and waiting to haunt you forever and ever.<\/p>\n 2. They can’t support their own heads!<\/strong><\/p>\n It’s FREAKY. You screw up once and BOOM! Brain damage for life.<\/p>\n 3. They have soft spots in their skulls and missing bones<\/strong><\/p>\n I remember holding my week-old son and thinking back to that part in Of Mice and Men where Lenny kills his new puppy by stroking it too hard. How was I ever going to keep this squishy little human, with his soft little skull and undeveloped bones, alive? FACT: babies are born without kneecaps.<\/a> So don’t drop them, all right?<\/p>\n 4. Their eyes roll back in their sockets<\/strong><\/p>\n Further proof they are possessed by an evil spirit. But actually, although it is very creepy and very zombie-like, it is common (for the most part) for newborns to roll their eyes back when sleepy or when getting “milk drunk”.<\/p>\n 5. They could wake up screaming at any given time<\/strong><\/p>\n There is nothing quite like the terrifying, horror-movie suspense of creeping away from a baby’s crib, hoping beyond hope that you don’t step on a toy and wake them up. You slip into bed and pull the warm covers up over your head, waiting for the blood-curdling midnight scream that means feeding time.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6. They could accidentally take a bite out of you<\/strong><\/p>\n For the breastfeeding mother, teething brings a very real, and very terrifying, concern that baby will take a chomp out of them. Of course, the fear doesn’t end there. Imagine if they did bite off that delicate bit— would they choke on it?<\/p>\n 7. Even worse than #5… they might start biting intentionally. Because they think it’s funny.<\/strong><\/p>\n You’ll start flinching every time they come in for a cuddle because you just never know…<\/p>\n 8. They wreck your nice things and you can’t get mad at them<\/strong><\/p>\n To a baby, there is no difference between $300 Ray Ban sunglasses and a plastic spoon — they are master destroyers.<\/p>\n 9. They might find your jokes blasé<\/strong><\/p>\n Is there any more vulnerable or pitiful state than putting yourself out there with a silly face or song and having a baby just stare at you, displeased and unimpressed? Maybe they even start crying. The rejection is psychologically terrifying.<\/p>\n 10. They have razor-sharp nails and the act of trimming them is just as scary<\/strong><\/p>\n Everything about a baby is ultra soft and doughy — except for their nails. They are SO tiny yet SO sharp and are a leading cause of injury in both baby and caregiver during their first year. It doesn’t matter which accessory you purchase to cut their nails, you will always be afraid that baby will jerk and you’ll sever an artery and they will bleed out…<\/p>\n PS. Throw out those stupid scratch mittens.<\/p>\n — Charlotte Helston gave birth to her first child, a rambunctious little boy, in the spring of 2021. Yo Mama is her weekly reflection on the wild, exhilarating, beautiful, messy, awe-inspiring journey of parenthood.<\/em><\/p>\n![\"|\"](\"https:\/\/infotel-staging.go-vip.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/MediaItemID93831-5632.jpg\" "\\"|\\"")
(Actual ultrasound picture of my son)<\/p>\n![\"|\"](\"https:\/\/staging.infonews.ca\/inhome\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/4\/MediaItemID88497-3733.jpg\" "\\"|\\"")